p.s. by the way...to answer that question above...i wish I could have said...well I turn 6 months on Friday (24 weeks) and I'm feeling her move around so much and I just love it. All is going well and we cannot wait to meet her and we just finished decorating her nursery.... BUT i can't because it didn't end that way...each Friday is hard for me because I would have turned a new week and each week I think about what week I would be at...oh how I miss being pregnant so bad, how I miss feeling her. I just cling to the promise, knowing she is in His presence, she is singing and dancing and laughing with everyone there and has no cares or worries or pain and I cannot wait for the day that not only will we see her again but she will get to see us face to face for the first time since her eyes were closed when we held her and we will embrace and hug for what feels like an eternity as we get to know each other and the rest of our family. I believe with all my heart based on scripture that we will know eachother as we are known and I look forward to that day so much.
On a lighter and happier note, here is Isaac on one of his new toys that he got as a birthday present.
His first birthday party is on Friday at the park and I am SOOO excited for it! Praying for good weather!
Oh I know how you feel and I am so so so so sorry. So many people knew we were pregnant the first time because we announced it to the world, but news of our loss didn't get around as fast. For at least 2-3 months after I would constantly hear things like, "hows the baby?" "how many weeks are you?" "when are you due?" "are you getting so excited?" It nearly killed me every time. But, you're right, I felt worse for the person asking because it was so awkward for them and they were just mortified every time I had to tell them what happened. I reacted the same way you did. Put on the strong front and change the subject. I am praying for you so much!!!
ReplyDeleteI remember going through it too with our four miscarriages but this time it just hit me harder because I was actually showing with her, feeling her move and got to hold her and so when they ask now...it's just so much harder to answer...but no matter the loss and no matter how far we all were when we lost our babies...its so hard to go through! thanks for praying Lauren!
ReplyDeleteApril, I'm so sorry that this interaction had to happen. I know the pain of having that interaction! I wanted to comment on this: "I didn't want to make it awkward for her because that is usually where people don't know what to say so they usually (not meaning to) say something stupid or hurtful." -- I have really struggled with this also. I always think that I am making people feel awkward and that I should change the subject as to not upset other people. I've also talked to my counselor about if people want to hear about Stella or not. She has assured me that my feelings are the most important in this situation and not other people's feelings. But we know that it is much harder when you are the one who has to deal with people's hurtful comments. Sending you lots of hugs!!
ReplyDeleteI also had a hard time with those questions when we lost our son. A friend of mine said something once and it has stuck with me over years. Go ahead and be honest. The person might be uncomfortable for a moment but this is your reality. They will go about their day and not worry about it again. But sharing your pain may minister to them in some way. I still think of this now after 8 years. I don't always know what to say when someone asks me how many children I have. Or if I am "going to ever get my boy." If I feel like sharing about Jacob's short life, I do. Its my reality. Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI also had a hard time with those questions when we lost our son. A friend of mine said something once and it has stuck with me over years. Go ahead and be honest. The person might be uncomfortable for a moment but this is your reality. They will go about their day and not worry about it again. But sharing your pain may minister to them in some way. I still think of this now after 8 years. I don't always know what to say when someone asks me how many children I have. Or if I am "going to ever get my boy." If I feel like sharing about Jacob's short life, I do. Its my reality. Praying for you!
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