Dear Isaac...

Dear Isaac,

Today you turn one. Today is your first birthday and I have so much to say to you that you just won't quite understand at this age so I am going to write it here to save so you can read when your older.

Today, one year ago, you were born into this world by an emergency c-section. God already knew all the plans He had for you and saved you from being aborted. He knew before time began that He would form you in your birthmother's belly and then have us, your mommy and daddy, adopt you as our son. Due to several things in your birthmother's life, she knew she could not keep you but she knew she wanted a good home for you. Little did she know God was behind it all and worked in all the details. Your birthmother gave a tremendous gift of love when she gave you to us. We cannot imagine how hard that must have been for her but she knew it was the best thing for you. After looking through many family profiles she picked us and chose us for several reasons...but we know God is the one that truly picked us to be your parents and we will forever thank Him for that.

You were born into this world on June 20th, 2010 at 08:52 pm weighing 4 lbs and 15 oz and was 19 1/2 inches long. Before mommy & daddy even found out about you and got to meet you, the nurses took such good care of you and told us before we even saw you for the first time, how beautiful you were. They all seemed to really like you. Little did daddy and I know that night, that you were just born and that soon we would find out that you were going to be our son. We could not sleep that night and both were laying in bed wide awake and could not figure out why. How funny to look back now and think about all that was happening at that moment and we didn't even know....but God knew!

Two days after you were born, mommy was sitting on the couch at 1:15 pm and remembers exactly how she was sitting and what she was doing when she called the adoption agency back because she had missed their call. As the social worker started telling mommy about details of a situation and baby, mommy just figured it was another scenario like we had earlier where we could pick if we wanted our profile shown or not. Little did I know our profile was already shown and we were already picked. Our social worker went on to give mommy all the details behind your birth, you and as much as she knew about your birthmom and situation. She then told me the amazing news that we were already picked, you were already born and you were a beautiful baby boy. It was then up to us to decide whether or not to accept, which of course...WE DID!

I then started happy screaming, happy crying and happy dancing around the house as I started thanking and praising God for our new baby boy. I called daddy immediately at work and could barely get out the details without crying so much to where it was hard for him to understand me. I think that day and that moment is one that daddy and I will NEVER forget. Of course we went on to call your grandparents and everyone else too!

THE DAY I MET YOU...

Just writing that title above brings such joyous tears to my eyes. We were so nervous walking into the hospital but our social worker calmed us by letting us know how your birthmom was very sure that she wanted us to have you. I remember walking slowly into the room and seeing your birthmom for the first time and she started crying as she realized who I was. As soon as I walked up to her I gave her a hug and started tearing up too. She immediately gave you to me. She knew where you belonged....in my arms. The first time I held you and looked at you, I was amazed at how small you were and yet how absolutely beautiful you were. Usually babies just look weird at birth but you my boy, you were beautiful even from the beginning. You had black silky straight hair, you smelled like cotton candy as I pressed my cheek against yours and took all of you in. The bond was instant. It was something we didn't have to think about, pray for or about, it just happened. We know who made it happen...God! I fell in love with you so hard in that instant, that very first moment of holding you and I could not stop staring at you. We went on to talk to your birthmom for two more hours so we could get to know her some, more about the situation and have her get to know us some. During that time, I knew I was suppose to be having eye contact with her and talk with her but all I wanted and I could do was look down at you and stare into your beautiful eyes that kept looking at me. You were wrapped up in two receiving blankets and looked like a little burrito. I eventually let daddy hold you and it was such an awesome moment for me to see your daddy hold you for the first time.

Your birthmom then left a little while later and we were able to go back up and get you and spend the whole evening with you in the hospital. Daddy and I truly were kind of nervous at first when we took you out of your portable crib they had you in to change your diaper. We had never seen a baby that small before. You were so teeny tiny you didn't even have any meat on your bottom. You were so precious. Your skin reminded me of the color of carmel. Your hair was so silky smooth and you had lots of it. I loved to keep running my fingers through it. You were already looking so deeply into our eyes and you captured our hearts immediately. We have precious pictures from those first few minutes and hours. Pictures that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. We talked to you, mommy sang to you, we prayed with you and held you as much as we could. We had to keep taking turns but it was so hard to keep passing you back between daddy & I because we each just wanted to keep holding you the whole time. Mommy put you down under her shirt to get the skin-to-skin bonding/cuddle time that they recommended and you and I both loved it. You were such a little cuddler! We could not stay the night since you were not technically ours yet so we had to leave you in the hospital all by yourself. We hated doing that and it broke our hearts but we know your heavenly Father was with you and the nurses took great care of you. Before leaving that night we got together and each put our hands on you and held eachother as a family and prayed over you and thanked God for you.

The next day we came and saw you as soon as we got up and got ready. We spent the whole day with you and got some video recordings of you all squirming around and making your adorable newborn noises. You didn't pass your carseat test the first time around so we had everyone pray and the nurse helped you the second time and you passed. That is how small you were! We got to give you a bath in the hospital and watch them do your footprints for us. We went and bought you an OSU outfit to bring you home in. We were a little nervous all day because until your birthmom signed the papers, you still were not technically ours, even though in our hearts you already were so loved and were ours.

At 4:37 pm, we actually got a text before the actual phone call from our social worker and it was the best text I have ever received in my life. It said that all the papers were signed and that you were ours. Praise God! Daddy and I just sat there looking at you and at eachother realizing that you were now our son. We were so excited we didn't even know what to do or how to act so we just sat and cuddled and thanked God for you and gave you lots of kisses and cuddles.

Isaac, you will never know just how much you mean to mommy & daddy. We love you with a love so strong and yet what amazes us is that our heavenly Father loves you even more. He loves you so much Isaac. He watched as you were being formed in your birthmother's womb and He knew before you were even formed that He would have you formed in her womb and then be put in my arms for daddy & I to be your parents. God brings children into families in many different ways and it's His choosing on how He brings them. There are so many amazing men and women of the bible that God used MIGHTILY for His kingdom and His story, that were adopted. God's own son was adopted on this earth and all of us, God's children, because of what Christ did on the cross, are able to be called children of God and be adopted as His sons and daughters. Adoption is so close to God's heart Isaac. My prayer is that you never feel less than, or that because of being adopted that you are not loved. I hope you realize that you are loved more than you could ever imagine and God chose this path, this plan for you for a reason, a purpose. He is going to do good with your life. My prayer is that you come to know Him at a young age and have such a fire, a passion for Him that it drives all that you do in life and that you realize your identity is in Him.

You are beautiful. You are silly. You give the best kisses and tight hugs ever. You make mommy & daddy laugh more than anyone has ever been able to do. Your giggles make my heart almost feel like I cannot handle it because its so overflowing with love and joy from you, my son! Watching you over your first year as you accomplished so much and grew so much was such a joy for me and daddy. Daddy shows off your picture to people as often as he can, he is so proud of you and proud to be your daddy. We love bringing you in to cuddle and giggle with us in bed on Saturday mornings. We love playing together with you as you are mobile now and moving around everywhere, having us chase you. We LOVE to play peek-a-boo and watch you get so excited each and every time the curtain/blanket/hat comes away from your or our face and you laugh hysterically. We love how no matter where we are at and no matter how many people you love that surround you, you always find us and lock eyes with us and find your way to us because you know we are your mommy and daddy. I love the way you love us and the bond that we have with you Isaac.

I am starting to see your boy tendincies come out more and more and I must say....I LOVE IT! The other day you were sticking your head in a pot outside that had dirt in it and were crawling all over the grass and then helped mommy fill a bucket of water up to water the flowers but instead you liked to splash in the water and put your hand down into it. You love crawling all over the sand and water at the beach and have no problems getting dirty or even eating some grainy sand. I look forward to the days when you start playing with buzz lightyear and all your superhero friends. You will always be my baby boy, even when your turning 20. You are beautiful, so beautiful, on the outside and in the inside. You have one of the best personalities I have ever seen in a child. So happy, carefree, just like daddy and me. You fit your name PERFECTLY. It means Laughter and I think long before daddy and I decided to name you Isaac, God knew you were to be called Isaac, because He knew the type of boy you would be and all the laughter, joy and love you would bring into our lives. We are SO excited to see what God is going to do in your life Isaac. He has great plans for you, He loves you so much and He will never, ever leave you.

So happy first birthday baby boy. I have so much more I could say but it literally would turn into a book. God knows my heart and knows my love for you and hopefully He can help me through the years, try and show you and tell you just how much that love is. Most of all, I hope and pray that daddy and I can live our lives for Him in a way where we point you to Him and you see just how awesome He is because of seeing the way He works in our lives. We love you so much Isaac, more than you could ever imagine. We thank God continually for you.

Happy birthday!

Love,
mommy