a poem and a bible study

We received an email from someone who we didn't even know but through the online community found our blog and has been reading our story. She is a writer and was compelled after reading our story to write a poem for us as a gift. It truly feels as if she got in our heads as she wrote it so beautifully. She captured so many things, so perfectly. Here it is...

A moment of grace

By J. Estelle Paul

"Today I met an angel; 

I kissed it on the nose. 

I counted each of it's tiny fingers. 

I counted each of it's tiny toes. 

Today I learned perfection;

I made it in that face. 

I saw it with my own eyes, 

And held it in my embrace. 

Today I witnessed beauty;

I traced it with my finger. 

A sweet sensation never forgotten;

So precious a feeling to linger. 

Today I felt such Pride;

I hugged it to my chest. 

And even though the circumstance; 

I felt truly blessed. 

Today I felt True Love;

I touched it's tiny head. 

I wept in awe even though;

I knew what lay ahead. 

Today I felt very Thankful;

That you were given unto me. 

That I got to be your Parent, 

However short a time that be. 

Today I met an Angel;

I kissed it on the nose. 

I counted it's little finger, 

I touched all it's little toes. 

Tomorrow I will Wake;

And though my Angel's left. 

All the lesson's that you've taught me, 

I will never forget."

So many parts of that, that I just love. She did such a wonderful job and it is such a sweet gift we will always treasure. A poem just for our Annabelle, about our Annabelle and our journey with her. Thank you so much!

Grieving is so hard at times that I find myself not even knowing where to read in scripture other than all the verses I already know about comfort, peace, strength etc. So I decided I needed guidance for now in my devotions so that it can not only help me through my grieving but drawing me to Him more and more. I picked up Stepping up; a journey through the Psalms of ascent by Beth Moore. The psalms I think are perfect for a person grieving because well, David himself grieved so much through them but they are also filled with words speaking life, comfort, peace, God being our refuge and strength and so many of them are filled with worship. I look forward to digging into this tonight and being guided on a journey through the book of Psalms. I'll keep you updated on how it is as I go along.

One last thing...one of the thing's I am finding out on this journey are how many other families have lost their babies. I knew miscarriages were actually common after going through our four but little did I realize that sadly there is a world, a big group of families out there, who have lost their babies after a point where they actually get to deliver, hold them and sadly have to bury them. It's a group we all didn't want to be a part of but found ourselves in. I am just starting to find and meet some of them and it's a comfort to get to know them and see how they have made it through too. I have realized MANY of them go on to do many great things in honor and memory of their baby. Many have websites and blogs where they do different forms of art or something creative for FREE for every family who has lost a family. They will write your baby's name in some way or do something else to help you remember them. How sweet and precious what these people are doing. Annabelle has already received two of those gifts. One I showed you the other day with her name written in flowers. The other we received just today by a mother who started Abiding Hope Collages after she had sadly went through the same thing and you can read the story of her precious one on the site. Here is what she made for us in memory of our precious Annabelle, we got to pick the words and phrases and she put it all together for us.