I found this blog It's almost naptime
She wrote a post titled "I don't want my children to be happy" and it really touched my heart so I wanted to share it with you all...these are her words below...
"Dear Shepherd, Sissy, Maggie and Ikey,
Recently we were told by people whom we love and respect why they oppose our plans to adopt. One of the reasons given was that we would not be able to pay for your college education.
It's true.
You all have college funds - college funds which recently took a terrible hit - but "they" say that by the time you're 18, college will cost anywhere between $200,000 to half a million dollars each. You might as well know now, we won't be covering that. I'm telling you now, babies.
The people said that the day would come when you would look at us with resentment because you had to apply for school loans while many of your friends got a free ride from their parents.
Maybe you will. Maybe you'll resent us. I really hope not. But maybe I should tell y'all now why your dad and I have decided to do what we are doing.
I know you're going to think I am going off topic (I do that a lot) but several years I saw a story on a TV show about how the latest trend was for parents to give their daughters boob jobs for high school graduation (I don't know what they gave their sons.) When interviewing one of the moms, she said, "I just want my daughter to be happy." And as I tossed a throw pillow at the television, this really huge thought occurred to me: I don't want my children to be happy.
My goal as your mom is not your happiness, sugars. In fact, I spend at least half my day making you unhappy. If I had a nickle for every tear that falls in this home on a daily basis, we wouldn't need to worry about college tuition at all.
Happiness is fleeting, sweet babies. That means it doesn't last. It's a quick feeling that comes from a funny movie or a heart shaped lollipop or a really good birthday present. It's great. I love to be happy. But happiness is a reaction that is based on our surroundings. And our surroundings are so very rarely under our control. Even when - especially when - we think they are. So no, I absolutely don't want you to spend your life chasing something that has so little to do with your own abilities. You'll just be constantly frustrated.
There are two things I desire for you, precious loves. There are two things that I spend most of my time as a mother trying cultivate in you. Happiness ain't one of them. (This means, sorry, no boob jobs for you.)
The first is, I want you to be content. Being content is so much different from being happy. Being content is not based on your surroundings. Being content comes from within. Contentment is a spirit of gratitude. It's the choice you make to either be thankful for the things you do have, or to whine about the things you don't have.
As you know, because I've told you lots of times, Paul talked about being content. Paul said that he had "learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." And Paul was in some rotten situations, kiddos, really rotten.
How could Paul be content whether he was in prison or if his life was literally a shipwreck? Because Paul was constantly seeking to be in the will of God instead of his own, was constantly sacrificing his own comfort for the sake of the gospel, and was constantly being confirmed, strengthened, and blessed by God because of his obedience. He was given a supernatural power - that means something kind of like magic, God magic - to do things that most other humans could not do. And guess what? The bible tells us (in Ephesians 1) that God will give you the exact same power! If you want it!
Which leads me to my second desire for y'all.
I don't want you to be happy. I want you to be holy. That means, I want you to seek that God-power to make you content. I want you to want the Kingdom of God more than your own kingdom. And that's hard, babies, that is so hard. And that usually means passing up a lot of what the world considers happiness. But it means that you will achieve blessings directly from God that most of the world never dreams of because they are too occupied with the achieving the perfect birthday present!
This means you may be poor, 'in want' as Paul said, and that's okay. It will never, ever be okay with the world for you to be poor. So you'll be up against the world. But not your dad and me, loves, because it was never our goal for you to be wealthy - at least not in the way that the world considers wealthy.
Darlings, we love you so much. You will never even grasp how much we love you until you have children of your own, and then you'll get it, and then you'll apologize for the ways you treated us ;) But our goal is not to please you. Our goal is to please our Heavenly Father. And nowhere in the bible does the Lord command that we save our money to send our kids to college.
But the Lord does command us to care for the orphan around fifty times. He does tell us to care for the poor around 300 times. He does tell us that when we care for the neediest, we are caring for Jesus Himself. And in chapter six of the book of Matthew, He tells us to seek His kingdom first, and let Him worry about the rest, like college tuition. Because it's all His anyway.
They said that one day y'all would resent us for using 'your' college money to go and get your sister out of an orphanage in Ethiopia and bring her home to you.
But I know my babies. Even at your tender ages, I know your hearts, and I have already seen you weep for the least of these. I know the prayers I offer up to God that He and not the world would shape the desires of your hearts. I am trusting Him to answer those prayers.
So, sugarbears - I just don't believe those people.
Love,
Mommy"
The above post was from another mom but I agree with what she said 100% and so thats why I wanted to post this! If only more people would realize what truly matters....Oh Lord help me to realize more and more everyday what really matters while we are here on this earth so that you may use me and Jim and that we can help Your kingdom and that YOU MAY BE GLORIFIED!
Love to all,
Monday, March 1, 2010
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That was a beautiful post! I only pray that someday I can say the same things to my son and know that he understands.
ReplyDeleteamazing... that so totally sums up my own hearts desire for our children. Simply Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said... thank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteWealth in the "worldly" sense should not be discounted. Whether you like it or not, money buys opportunity, health, and security. Without money one would be unable to pay for medical bills or receive important operations or treatments. Without money the stress of "Where is the money going to come from to pay these bills?" weighs down and provides numerous times if uncertainty and apprehension. Sure there are arguments that "god will provide" but there is a difference between having faith and avoiding responsibility by using blanket statements such as "it's in god's hands".
ReplyDeleteMoney also buys education. Herein lies the true importance of money. Education can produce money, which is great, but the value of the education received far outweighs the pecuniary aspects of education. Education provides individuals with the ability to think for themselves, to come to their own decisions (politically, religiously, morally, etc.). There is nothing wrong with exposing others to particular beliefs or practices, but to deny an individual the ability to learn about the other (potentially opposing) beliefs or viewpoints is coercive and dangerous. If someone is so sure that their belief is the correct one, then it would make sense for that person to encourage others to explore other beliefs to understand why they are incorrect. Education is the tool that allows individuals to thrive and to do great things.
Too often people dismiss money as "worldly" and try to place it on the back burner. Money can pay for orphanages, fund research for vaccines, build shelters for the homeless, provide relief to people suffering tragedies like those people in Haiti and Chile. Helping others likely makes you (the reader of this) happy. Money provides an almost unlimited buffet of ways to help others, and additionally, money makes helping others easier. As such, if (1) helping others makes you happy, and (2) spending money is a way to help others, then it follows that (3) spending money to help others makes you happy. Thus, money is buying happiness (no matter whether you consider it to be directly or indirectly).
The letter you posted sounds nice, however it states "[t]his means you may be poor, 'in want' as Paul said, and that's okay. It will never, ever be okay with the world for you to be poor." Maybe the "world" is taking important information into account here that the author of the letter is neglecting. The main point is that money matters whether you like it or not. So discounting the importance of money is foolish and irresponsible.
How very brave of you “Anonymous”. Even so, I will attempt to respond to your comment. You see, people like the “author of the letter” and I see things differently. Instead of money providing the opportunity, we see it as God providing the opportunity… and IF it’s an opportunity He wants us to have then He provides the money. It’s all His money anyway. Some Christians actually seek His guidance over every decision regarding their money. This is not a blind, I’m just going to sit back and do nothing action. It is an act of faith, and He gives wisdom, and clear decision making, opening and closing doors to guide us along as we seek to be in the center of His will.
ReplyDeleteWhen you declared, “discounting the importance of money is foolish and irresponsible,” you are missing the point. We aren’t saying it isn’t important, in fact [15% of everything Jesus said related to money and possessions. He spoke about money and possessions more than heaven and hell combined. The only subject Jesus spoke of more often is the Kingdom of God. Why? Because the Scriptures make clear there is a fundamental connection between a person's spiritual life and his attitudes and actions concerning money and possessions. Often we divorce the two -- Christ sees them as essentially related to one another.] We are saying that it is not the MOST important thing, and really it’s going to be a continual struggle until the Lord is made 1st in your life, and you acknowledge that He gets all of you, even your finances and you respond in faith and obedience. You can’t live to make money first and foremost focusing on IT as the answer to your needs/problems and serve the Lord at the same time. God is the answer to our problems and meeting our needs, and ask as many people as you can find who believe this…. HE DOES PROVIDE, EVERYTIME, maybe not as we envisioned, but in the end we see why.
We aren’t being “foolish,” we are acknowledging what His word tells us in Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
If we live our lives focused on the making and maintaining of money, even to be used in service to Him, our focus will be wrong, we will be serving money & not God. (See also Matthew 6:21) We will be giving ourselves the credit, for how hard WE worked to help others and give bigger. When He’s the focus, He gets the credit and I would say the feeling of serving him out of a pure heart, is JOY Unspeakable, which is far greater than mere happiness. We are to put God and His kingdom first, with our faith in His word, knowing that He loves us even more than the birds that He provides for daily.
You see I know many a testimony, of Christians who were faced with those medical bills, those potential losses and devastating financial situations, but instead of surrendering to the stress of it all, they surrendered the situation to the Lord, knowing that He’s where their help comes from [Psalm 121]. And upon their surrender, the check comes in the mail, God’s people join together to provide, or sometimes the situation doesn’t get resolved immediately, maybe they suffer financially for a while, they go through painful consequences of life or maybe bad choices, but in the end God works it out for their good.
In the end money doesn’t matter, only eternity does. I realize that all of this I’ve written “is foolishness to those who don’t believe”. It is my prayer that you would seek out this Jesus that has given us this salvation that brings peace and life abundantly beyond all we could imagine or think regardless of our circumstances. Find out what Jesus did for you and me. I share this from my heart--
How very brave of you “Anonymous”. Even so, I will attempt to respond to your comment. You see, people like the “author of the letter” and I see things differently. Instead of money providing the opportunity, we see it as God providing the opportunity… and IF it’s an opportunity He wants us to have then He provides the money. It’s all His money anyway. Some Christians actually seek His guidance over every decision regarding their money. This is not a blind, I’m just going to sit back and do nothing action. It is an act of faith, and He gives wisdom, and clear decision making, opening and closing doors to guide us along as we seek to be in the center of His will.
ReplyDeleteWhen you declared, “discounting the importance of money is foolish and irresponsible,” you are missing the point. We aren’t saying it isn’t important, in fact [15% of everything Jesus said related to money and possessions. He spoke about money and possessions more than heaven and hell combined. The only subject Jesus spoke of more often is the Kingdom of God. Why? Because the Scriptures make clear there is a fundamental connection between a person's spiritual life and his attitudes and actions concerning money and possessions. Often we divorce the two -- Christ sees them as essentially related to one another.] We are saying that it is not the MOST important thing, and really it’s going to be a continual struggle until the Lord is made 1st in your life, and you acknowledge that He gets all of you, even your finances and you respond in faith and obedience. You can’t live to make money first and foremost focusing on IT as the answer to your needs/problems and serve the Lord at the same time. God is the answer to our problems and meeting our needs, and ask as many people as you can find who believe this…. HE DOES PROVIDE, EVERYTIME, maybe not as we envisioned, but in the end we see why.
We aren’t being “foolish,” we are acknowledging what His word tells us in Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
If we live our lives focused on the making and maintaining of money, even to be used in service to Him, our focus will be wrong, we will be serving money & not God. (See also Matthew 6:21) We will be giving ourselves the credit, for how hard WE worked to help others and give bigger. When He’s the focus, He gets the credit and I would say the feeling of serving him out of a pure heart, is JOY Unspeakable, which is far greater than mere happiness. We are to put God and His kingdom first, with our faith in His word, knowing that He loves us even more than the birds that He provides for daily.
You see I know many a testimony, of Christians who were faced with those medical bills, those potential losses and devastating financial situations, but instead of surrendering to the stress of it all, they surrendered the situation to the Lord, knowing that He’s where their help comes from [Psalm 121]. And upon their surrender, the check comes in the mail, God’s people join together to provide, or sometimes the situation doesn’t get resolved immediately, maybe they suffer financially for a while, they go through painful consequences of life or maybe bad choices, but in the end God works it out for their good.
In the end money doesn’t matter, only eternity does. I realize that all of this I’ve written “is foolishness to those who don’t believe”. It is my prayer that you would seek out this Jesus that has given us this salvation that brings peace and life abundantly beyond all we could imagine or think regardless of our circumstances. Find out what Jesus did for you and me. I share this from my heart--