Yesterday I was at hobby lobby looking at craft and christmas stuff that was 50% because I am going to be making some of our christmas gifts this year. Anyways, I was walking all the wonderful Christmas aisles and the music was playing and it was just grand. I love all things Christmas and I was in a great mood and had a great day and then BOOM all of a sudden it hit me. I've heard this would happen and grief will sometimes hit you out of no where and well it did. It hit me hard as I was looking at all the Christmas stuff and listening to the music that Annabelle would have been 3 weeks old and in her carseat in the cart watching me shop or would have been at home with daddy. It hit me that this Christmas would have looked SO MUCH different if she would have survived and been here. It hit me that my baby girl will not be celebrating with us for Christmas. It just hit me with the whole Christmas aspect of it for the first time and the tears came. Since I was in a store, I tried to keep them in but with each aisle, it seemed to get worse. At one point when It was really hard and I felt like I was going to bawl, I saw this ornament. It was a white circle with polka dots on it and bright green bow, it immediately caught my attention because of the colors but then I felt like I just needed to turn it around and see if there was something on the other side because the side I saw was blank. When I turned it around I could have truly bawled, written on the ornament was one word...HOPE. I felt like God gave that to me to help me in that moment and remind me of our hope in Him, how He came to earth as our hope and died for us and now because of Him I have the hope of seeing all of my babies in heaven one day. It was half off so of course I bought it since it was just a few bucks. I truly believe God used that ornament to speak to my heart that night and help me through my moment of missing Annabelle. He is so good. Here it is...
I was really wanting to find an ornament for Annabelle to remember her by since she is a part of our family but just not here with us this Christmas and all i've seen the past few months are babies first christmas or something like that but I found this adorable ornament that was only $2 bucks. It's a ceremic letter A and it's simple and sweet and just exactly what we need. We can look at it hanging on our tree and remember our beautiful Annabelle!
If you've lost a child, what ways or things did you do during Christmas to remember them by or to honor them?
You are right... it just hits you like that!! I'm so sorry for your wave of grief today. Those ornaments are very beautiful - and God is always right there to give us what we need when the wave hits us. For me I will usually be driving home from work and I'll just lose it - sometimes to the point where I will have to pull over. But it always seems like one of Stella's songs will come on and remind me that I'll be okay. I am dreading our first holiday season without Stella and then her 1st birthday coming so soon after (Feb 1) and her angelversary 5 days later. *Lots of hugs!
ReplyDeletebeautiful, thanks for sharing. Such a joy knowing that she'll spend her first Christmas with Jesus, how cool is that!
ReplyDeleteOur local funeral home does a treemof remembrance service where every year you can place an ornament on it in remembrance of loved ones. Another thing my family did was put a stocking up for my brother every year and we were able to put in special notes and things that stayed in it every year.
ReplyDeleteI love the A ornament you found. It's beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWe haven't lost a child like you lost your beautiful baby but we did spend two months in Uganda waiting to bring home our sons and ultimately had to leave one of our sons behind for the time being. The upcoming holidays are breaking my heart because at this point last year we thought they would certainly be home by now. Instead he's still waiting in an orphanage and we're here without him. Our "loss" will never compare to yours but we're struggling too this season.
Amy...i LOVE that stocking idea! I might try that.
ReplyDeleteKait...my heart breaks for you, I cannot imagine that. I'm so sorry. Are you still trying to bring him home or is it not going to work out?
I love both of the ornaments you found!
ReplyDeleteWe decided to buy a butterfly ornament for Ava and ever year we will add one butterfly to the tree. My mom always says that once your kids are older and move out they take all of their ornaments with them and your tree is rather bare. I felt like this was perfect because someday when we are older we can look at our tree and it will be filled with butterflies and be such a sweet reminder of our girl :)
Nicole i LOVE that idea too...I think i'll do that too, each year i'll buy annabelle an ornament so that when our kids are grown and gone with their ornaments we will have annabelles! ;0) LOVE
ReplyDeleteI really like the ornaments you chose. I love that God reminded you in Hobby Lobby that He was still right beside you.
ReplyDeleteLove ya,
Amy