Annabelle's headstone...

Never could I have imagined that I would be driving out every so often to the country cemetery at the age of 27 to visit my daughter's grave. Something I would have never thought would have happened or that I could have gone through, but here I am today just having returned from a visit there. It breaks my heart every time I go because we don't have headstone yet to be able to put there with her name and date on it. Thankfully a friend from church gave us a gift of this beautiful garden upright stone with a pretty saying on it and we have that as the marker for now. We do have the headstone all designed and ready to be made but we just have to save $600 to get it made and for it to be put in at the cemetery. Unfortunately the cemetery only puts headstones in twice a year and the next one is October. We originally wanted to have it made by then to have it put in but we just won't be able to swing it because we have so many medical and other bills that we need to pay off first before saving back for her headstone. So we are hoping we can get it paid for and done before the next time they do it, which will be probably in 6-7 months. I hate thinking we have to wait that long to have something there to identify her and her life but we just will have to. In the meantime, I wanted to share with whoever wanted to see, what her site looks like right now and what her headstone will look like. We have a design print of what the actual headstone will look like and I would love to share it with you all. We put a lot of thought and time into it to make it special for Annabelle and for all who read it in the years to come.

Here is what her headstone will look like. The feet and hands are her exact prints! Love how personal it is and the message in it!



Here is her marker we have right now that was a gift from a friend...

The roses are from her rosebush that grows in our yard that family gave to us.

 Today as I went to her grave, I was in better spirits than I am most times I go out there. Thankfully the past few days have been good days and so I was able to go out there with a thankful heart for all God has done and a grateful one for how He chose me to be her mom. If I could go back in time and choose whether to go through this again or to have never conceived her, I would have 100% without a doubt chosen this path again. Although the hardest, most deepest and painful path we have taken yet in our life, it has been a path where we have seen the hand of God so much and we got to hold our precious baby girl and know that we will see her again. I miss her but I am thankful for the time we had with her and I KNOW God is using her life for a purpose and for His glory. Again, I never would have thought I would be 27 and going to my daughter's grave already or at all but this is what God's plans were for us and so we walk this path.....but not alone.....we walk it with Him.